My Manna

There are days I question if this is where I want to be or how long will I continue to stay here, and then there are days that I ask if I'm worthy to be called here to work with these beautiful people that surround me, from the precious babies, growing teenagers, amazing best friends, called missionaries; the people who have become a part of "My Home". There are even many days I question "why me, God? God you know my brokenness, you know my self doubt, you know the worst Keely. Why did you choose me for this place? I am not worthy." But for some reason, here I sit in the place I sometimes question, but also the place where I feel I have been called, and in those times of questioning and doubting come answers. Because frankly we are all being called.

Deut 8:3
"And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with Manna, which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of My LORD!"

He knows I'm broken. We all are in some way or another, but with Him I'm being healed, WE ARE being HEALED. He has given me My Manna, His Manna, no it's not the bread that He was referring to with the Israelites, but it's my Manna (ironically named Manna), and it feeds me. He led me here to the DR, because He knew I would need this place, MannaDR. That I needed to be humbled. That I needed to know how broken I am in order to see how whole He is. That I needed all of these people who lift me up and encourage me to continue to grow my faith deeper in our Savior. I'm not only talking about the people who live here, but about all of His people who I have met through Manna and all of His people who encourage me state-side. I have met our Savior. I know His grace, and oh how He is feeding me with my manna.
He is feeding my hunger and quenching my thirst every day, and even on the days I struggle, forget, and mess up, He is feeding me. He hasn't forgotten about me. He is still right where He has always been, calling me to Him, to bare my cross and die to myself daily, to feed his sheep. He has never failed me, and I know He never will.
I pray that He takes me deeper, deeper in my relationship with Him, deeper with My Savior. I feel called to feed His sheep, and I pray that the spirit will lead me where my trust is without borders. I pray that I follow His footsteps out on the ocean in the paths He has laid for me. I pray that my soul will rest in Him when my faith feels strong and even more when it feels shaken. I pray that my faith will strengthen and produce patience, love, peace, joy, and self-control in His name.

No, I am not worthy, but He is. He is worthy of my whole heart. Yes, I am broken, but He isn't. He is whole and my healing. I am His, and He is mine.

And I pray that for all of you.
I don't know what your manna is, but I pray God is feeding your hunger and thirst with His manna, and that He is strengthening your faith and walk with Him to bare His light and your cross, because we are all being called. "You are the light of the world."

2 Timothy 1:9 "who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began."

Pray for us here in the DR that our works are being done in His name. That we are baring His light, our crosses, and His light is shining before others because of the good works happening here in His name.

A new friend of mine was talking about this song a week ago in devo. I had never heard it, and now I haven't been able to stop listening to it. Thanks niccinic:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

I will reduce, so He can increase.

Well here we are, it's almost February and I am setting some goals for myself, way to go Ms. Procrastinator. I recently just started this book that was recommended by this sweet woman who came down with a Magi group this year (Thank you Mrs. Carolyn, you're an angel, I just know it.). This group was different than normal, it was only made up of about 7 people instead of 20 and with a smaller group comes more intimate conversations, better opportunities to really get to know the group members and for them to get to know us (insert emoticon with that straight-faced uneasy look). So there we were all gathered around the kitchen table eating a meal together in a house, just talking about tv shows, restaurants in the States (that I would consider losing my manners to eat at), our ministries, music, and books... so many topics were discussed, and I think we all really enjoyed each other. So back to that book I just started, I had the privilege to talk to Mrs. Carolyn and Rhonda a little bit about books. First, always on my "must-read" list is "Redeeming Love" (woo, Yes Lord! God, you can send me my Michael Hosea anytime now. The sooner the better, you've been a little slow, but no rush, All in Your time of course.) The second book I always recommend is "Bloom". Thank you Kelle Hampton for your wit and love for your precious Nella. Your book took my heart into a deeper love for kids with disabilities. (READ THIS BOOK) After I had described "Bloom", Mrs. Carolyn started telling me about this book called "7: An Experimental Mutiny against Excess". She somehow knew I would love this book, and she was right. Ever since last Wednesday I cannot put it down.

 "7 is the true story of how Jen took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence."--Thank you for that Jen Hatmaker website!

The first month she chooses food. So she picks only 7 foods she can eat for an entire month: chicken, spinach, sweet potatoes, apples, eggs, whole-wheat bread, and avocado. At first that doesn't sound too bad at all, but she can only use pepper, salt, and olive oil for seasoning and she can only drink water... see ya, coffee! In doing this, it causes her to refocus on her relationship with Jesus, like a fast if you will. It allows her to dive in and read scriptures about Jesus' fast for 40 days, she talks to God when she is tired of the "dry Sahara Desert flavored boob meat" that she tastes when eating only olive-oiled chicken". I'm writing this because I want all of you, who are probably regretting that you read this, to hold me accountable. Jill has agreed to be my council, to hold me accountable, and she even has given me rules she has already come up with (like for real what in the heck would I do without a jewel like her in this world?). Just another example of God knowing exactly what you need and who you need. But I want y'all to hold me accountable, because it is definitely more devastating for this girl's heart to let all of her loyal Facebook and blog followers down. So I will keep a journal through this month with my blog about my one month fast, and I hope that you will follow along! I also hope that God uses this time to teach me about obedience and my extra time be filled with Jesus.

My food choices for February:

Chicken

Eggs

Whole-wheat bread

Apples

Peppers

Onions

Potatoes

"Which reminds me: I'm doing this for a reason. This is a fast, a major reduction of the endless possibilities that accompany my every meal. It is supposed to be uncomfortable and inconvenient. Not because I'm a narcissist but because the discomfort creates space for the Holy Spirit to move. This shake-up of my routine commands my attention. I can no longer default to normal, usual, mindless, thoughtless. It's like having an eyelash under my contact all day.

What will the Spirit do with this new space? I don't know. We'll see. It's His to engineer. I won't box Him in or assume I know what He'll say. I'm not going to project my goals onto His movement. I have simply said, "Jesus, may there be less of me and my Junk and more of You and Your Kingdom." I will reduce, so He can increase."- Jan Hatmaker

Also, check out this video if you want to know more about Magi and what we do around Christmas time!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151914068088878&set=vb.583848877&type=2&theater