There are days I question if this is where I want to be or how long will I continue to stay here, and then there are days that I ask if I'm worthy to be called here to work with these beautiful people that surround me, from the precious babies, growing teenagers, amazing best friends, called missionaries; the people who have become a part of "My Home". There are even many days I question "why me, God? God you know my brokenness, you know my self doubt, you know the worst Keely. Why did you choose me for this place? I am not worthy." But for some reason, here I sit in the place I sometimes question, but also the place where I feel I have been called, and in those times of questioning and doubting come answers. Because frankly we are all being called.
Deut 8:3
"And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with Manna, which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of My LORD!"
He knows I'm broken. We all are in some way or another, but with Him I'm being healed, WE ARE being HEALED. He has given me My Manna, His Manna, no it's not the bread that He was referring to with the Israelites, but it's my Manna (ironically named Manna), and it feeds me. He led me here to the DR, because He knew I would need this place, MannaDR. That I needed to be humbled. That I needed to know how broken I am in order to see how whole He is. That I needed all of these people who lift me up and encourage me to continue to grow my faith deeper in our Savior. I'm not only talking about the people who live here, but about all of His people who I have met through Manna and all of His people who encourage me state-side. I have met our Savior. I know His grace, and oh how He is feeding me with my manna.
He is feeding my hunger and quenching my thirst every day, and even on the days I struggle, forget, and mess up, He is feeding me. He hasn't forgotten about me. He is still right where He has always been, calling me to Him, to bare my cross and die to myself daily, to feed his sheep. He has never failed me, and I know He never will.
I pray that He takes me deeper, deeper in my relationship with Him, deeper with My Savior. I feel called to feed His sheep, and I pray that the spirit will lead me where my trust is without borders. I pray that I follow His footsteps out on the ocean in the paths He has laid for me. I pray that my soul will rest in Him when my faith feels strong and even more when it feels shaken. I pray that my faith will strengthen and produce patience, love, peace, joy, and self-control in His name.
No, I am not worthy, but He is. He is worthy of my whole heart. Yes, I am broken, but He isn't. He is whole and my healing. I am His, and He is mine.
And I pray that for all of you.
I don't know what your manna is, but I pray God is feeding your hunger and thirst with His manna, and that He is strengthening your faith and walk with Him to bare His light and your cross, because we are all being called. "You are the light of the world."
2 Timothy 1:9 "who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began."
Pray for us here in the DR that our works are being done in His name. That we are baring His light, our crosses, and His light is shining before others because of the good works happening here in His name.
A new friend of mine was talking about this song a week ago in devo. I had never heard it, and now I haven't been able to stop listening to it. Thanks niccinic:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw
