My Manna

There are days I question if this is where I want to be or how long will I continue to stay here, and then there are days that I ask if I'm worthy to be called here to work with these beautiful people that surround me, from the precious babies, growing teenagers, amazing best friends, called missionaries; the people who have become a part of "My Home". There are even many days I question "why me, God? God you know my brokenness, you know my self doubt, you know the worst Keely. Why did you choose me for this place? I am not worthy." But for some reason, here I sit in the place I sometimes question, but also the place where I feel I have been called, and in those times of questioning and doubting come answers. Because frankly we are all being called.

Deut 8:3
"And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with Manna, which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of My LORD!"

He knows I'm broken. We all are in some way or another, but with Him I'm being healed, WE ARE being HEALED. He has given me My Manna, His Manna, no it's not the bread that He was referring to with the Israelites, but it's my Manna (ironically named Manna), and it feeds me. He led me here to the DR, because He knew I would need this place, MannaDR. That I needed to be humbled. That I needed to know how broken I am in order to see how whole He is. That I needed all of these people who lift me up and encourage me to continue to grow my faith deeper in our Savior. I'm not only talking about the people who live here, but about all of His people who I have met through Manna and all of His people who encourage me state-side. I have met our Savior. I know His grace, and oh how He is feeding me with my manna.
He is feeding my hunger and quenching my thirst every day, and even on the days I struggle, forget, and mess up, He is feeding me. He hasn't forgotten about me. He is still right where He has always been, calling me to Him, to bare my cross and die to myself daily, to feed his sheep. He has never failed me, and I know He never will.
I pray that He takes me deeper, deeper in my relationship with Him, deeper with My Savior. I feel called to feed His sheep, and I pray that the spirit will lead me where my trust is without borders. I pray that I follow His footsteps out on the ocean in the paths He has laid for me. I pray that my soul will rest in Him when my faith feels strong and even more when it feels shaken. I pray that my faith will strengthen and produce patience, love, peace, joy, and self-control in His name.

No, I am not worthy, but He is. He is worthy of my whole heart. Yes, I am broken, but He isn't. He is whole and my healing. I am His, and He is mine.

And I pray that for all of you.
I don't know what your manna is, but I pray God is feeding your hunger and thirst with His manna, and that He is strengthening your faith and walk with Him to bare His light and your cross, because we are all being called. "You are the light of the world."

2 Timothy 1:9 "who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began."

Pray for us here in the DR that our works are being done in His name. That we are baring His light, our crosses, and His light is shining before others because of the good works happening here in His name.

A new friend of mine was talking about this song a week ago in devo. I had never heard it, and now I haven't been able to stop listening to it. Thanks niccinic:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

I will reduce, so He can increase.

Well here we are, it's almost February and I am setting some goals for myself, way to go Ms. Procrastinator. I recently just started this book that was recommended by this sweet woman who came down with a Magi group this year (Thank you Mrs. Carolyn, you're an angel, I just know it.). This group was different than normal, it was only made up of about 7 people instead of 20 and with a smaller group comes more intimate conversations, better opportunities to really get to know the group members and for them to get to know us (insert emoticon with that straight-faced uneasy look). So there we were all gathered around the kitchen table eating a meal together in a house, just talking about tv shows, restaurants in the States (that I would consider losing my manners to eat at), our ministries, music, and books... so many topics were discussed, and I think we all really enjoyed each other. So back to that book I just started, I had the privilege to talk to Mrs. Carolyn and Rhonda a little bit about books. First, always on my "must-read" list is "Redeeming Love" (woo, Yes Lord! God, you can send me my Michael Hosea anytime now. The sooner the better, you've been a little slow, but no rush, All in Your time of course.) The second book I always recommend is "Bloom". Thank you Kelle Hampton for your wit and love for your precious Nella. Your book took my heart into a deeper love for kids with disabilities. (READ THIS BOOK) After I had described "Bloom", Mrs. Carolyn started telling me about this book called "7: An Experimental Mutiny against Excess". She somehow knew I would love this book, and she was right. Ever since last Wednesday I cannot put it down.

 "7 is the true story of how Jen took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence."--Thank you for that Jen Hatmaker website!

The first month she chooses food. So she picks only 7 foods she can eat for an entire month: chicken, spinach, sweet potatoes, apples, eggs, whole-wheat bread, and avocado. At first that doesn't sound too bad at all, but she can only use pepper, salt, and olive oil for seasoning and she can only drink water... see ya, coffee! In doing this, it causes her to refocus on her relationship with Jesus, like a fast if you will. It allows her to dive in and read scriptures about Jesus' fast for 40 days, she talks to God when she is tired of the "dry Sahara Desert flavored boob meat" that she tastes when eating only olive-oiled chicken". I'm writing this because I want all of you, who are probably regretting that you read this, to hold me accountable. Jill has agreed to be my council, to hold me accountable, and she even has given me rules she has already come up with (like for real what in the heck would I do without a jewel like her in this world?). Just another example of God knowing exactly what you need and who you need. But I want y'all to hold me accountable, because it is definitely more devastating for this girl's heart to let all of her loyal Facebook and blog followers down. So I will keep a journal through this month with my blog about my one month fast, and I hope that you will follow along! I also hope that God uses this time to teach me about obedience and my extra time be filled with Jesus.

My food choices for February:

Chicken

Eggs

Whole-wheat bread

Apples

Peppers

Onions

Potatoes

"Which reminds me: I'm doing this for a reason. This is a fast, a major reduction of the endless possibilities that accompany my every meal. It is supposed to be uncomfortable and inconvenient. Not because I'm a narcissist but because the discomfort creates space for the Holy Spirit to move. This shake-up of my routine commands my attention. I can no longer default to normal, usual, mindless, thoughtless. It's like having an eyelash under my contact all day.

What will the Spirit do with this new space? I don't know. We'll see. It's His to engineer. I won't box Him in or assume I know what He'll say. I'm not going to project my goals onto His movement. I have simply said, "Jesus, may there be less of me and my Junk and more of You and Your Kingdom." I will reduce, so He can increase."- Jan Hatmaker

Also, check out this video if you want to know more about Magi and what we do around Christmas time!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151914068088878&set=vb.583848877&type=2&theater

(after Cristopher and Overlin's baptisms)

"to Jesus"

September, you really out did yourself sweet friend! What an incredible month to watch unfold! A little teaching story for you: In my English class a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about the difference in the verb "to want" and "to need". I had asked my students to write five sentences using the verb "to want" and five sentences using the verb "to need" to make sure they understood the difference. Overlin, who is one of our Sophomore boys here at MCS, wrote on the "to need" side, "I need to Jesus". My first response of course was a smile, and then to correct him and explain that "to Jesus" isn't a verb, but I stopped myself. I simply just put a smiley face beside his "grammatically incorrect" sentence, and then gave thanks to God that this was on his heart. Yes, of course the way he wrote it was incorrect, he meant "I need Jesus". But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was exactly right, too. We need "to Jesus" every day. In every situation and little moments of the day we need "to Jesus", to let Him lead us and be our focus and our actions. Languages are fun to learn, but even better when one of your sweetest spanish- speaking students makes up his own verb, using the very reason I am living in this place, Jesus. 
Not long after that sentence was written, Overlin made the biggest decision of his life and decided to abandon himself, follow Him, and pursue life, or in other words "to Jesus":) So Overlin has encouraged me "to Jesus" in whatever I am doing and wherever I am going. Also in September, we have gotten to watch two more of our students be baptized (Angel and Cristopher). These baptisms happened after school, so all of our students got to go and watch. And for some of our students, it was the first time they had ever seen anything like this! These are the times I wish I could bring all of you here, and you just get to watch how God is so evidently working in this place with us but even more with our kids. Keep praying for these three boys and their young walks with Him. Pray that they can make disciples in this country and lead people to Christ. Pray for the rest of our students, the ones that have already made the decision to Follow Jesus, and the ones who are still searching. Pray that God is touching each of their hearts and leading their lives. Pray for us here (the missionaries), that we can be and do exactly what God wants us to be and exactly what He wants us to do here in this place.

Thank you, God for such a great month! I can't wait to see what YOU do here in October, and your beautiful Fall weather;)

Fun things that happened in September: After Angel's baptism:)

Four of my favorite girls, three of which I disciple, spent the night, and we roasted Marsh mellows in 80 degree weather:)

Graisy and Jailinne (my girls!) Isaury and Luisauny 








Jailinne and I went kayaking in the ocean, and I couldn't stop laughing!

Jill, Chad, Cristopher, and Overlin before Chad baptized them! 

We have started "Baseball Sunday" every week after church. These three girls love coming to camp to watch an afternoon full of baseball:) 

A cry for help.

This is not one of my usual Blog posts, but I hope you read it anyway:)

Hello all,

As you do or maybe do not know I am Keely Williams from West Tennessee, and have been living in the Dominican Republic for almost two years working for Manna Global Ministries, a nonprofit organization. I am a teacher here at Manna Christian school that we started two years ago this Fall. I mostly teach science classes, like Biology, Chemistry, and Physics and have taught other courses. Our school is just like any other high school, but in our high school we focus on Discipleship. We wanted to figure out a way where we could get into these kids lives that we love so much and have them for hours at a time every day. But more importantly we wanted to grow and deepen their relationship with Christ, so we started a high school. We have now added our third class this Fall, so we have a Junior, Sophomore, and Freshman class. Every missionary has disciples, and I disciple five girls throughout the week. We do bible studies, pray, or sometimes we just talk about what is going on in their lives. We also have a Children's Home that I have been involved in and an outreach program for young teens in the nearest town. Needless to say, God is working in this place, and us missionaries here are just trying to be His puzzle pieces and be used in whichever way that He wants.

When I moved here in February of 2012, I had raised enough money for a little under a year's time here. I have now been here for almost two years, and I do have some support but not enough to sustain my work and life here in the Dominican. I love this place, the people, and most importantly the God I serve and would love to continue to live and work here, but I need help. My heart lies in many places because of the relationships I have with many of you, but my heart is in love and continuing to be called to this place I now call "home". I never thought I would be here this long. I really just thought it would be cool to live on an island and if I developed a deeper relationship with God then it was an added bonus. Little did I know, God was fixing to take me on a rollercoaster of a ride by planting this "cool island", His people, and most of all a deep craving for Him to take hold of my heart. I am beyond blessed to feel called by God to do what I do, and I wish so badly that I could do it without any funds, but it is just impossible. That is where YOU come into play, (if you want:)) The cost of living here for a year is usually around $17,000, and I am in no ways asking you for that much but any little bit helps. If you have questions and want to talk to me you can email me at k.williams2909@gmail.com. You can also keep up with me through my blog growinupinlove.blogspot.com

If you would like to help me and donate to my mission, you can send a one time donation or choose to monthly sponsor by sending money to:

Greenfield Church of Christ

Keely Williams- mission funds

2610 North Meridian Street

Greenfield Tn, 38230

Most importantly will you just pray that God can really use me this year in whatever ways He sees fit, that I can be a light to all that I come in contact with, and that the same happens for all of the missionaries down here. 

Lastly, thank you so much for just reading this and following all of my blog rants. I love each and everyone of you. 

"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place."

-Miriam Adeney

lovelovelove,

Keely 

This is You.

God, I am so in awe of You in this moment. I look over to my right and I see the sweetest darkest brown face look back at me, and it hits me-- this dark brown face with big brown eyes is made in the image of You-- maybe not his features or maybe so, but what dwells inside of him. Your spirit. He has You written all over him. In the way his eyes smile, in the way his little brown nose spreads across his face, in the way his perfect white teeth glow from his darkness. This is You.

And then I take my gaze and wonderment and look to my left where I see smooth white skin, blue eyes, and a mouth that is pouring out the most beautiful sound to praise Your name and again-- this is You. Who she is has You written all over her. 

You and your spirit have surrounded me, and then I think about my traits- my olive skin, dark hair, and dark eyes- and I realize-- I was made in the image of You, too. And oh, how incredible that feels. How incredible that feels to know all of Your imperfect people with so many different looks and traits, who maybe look nothing alike, but we all have You and your spirit in common. I was made to serve You. To serve others in Your name. 

Whether we realize it or not, It's ALL ABOUT YOU. And as much as I fail You and struggle, Your grace wraps around me and covers me. I pray that I can continue to try and serve you every day. And when I mess up not to beat myself up, but to pick myself up and try to keep loving, keep serving a Beautiful God because every day I am renewed by His grace, mercy, and love. 

And I pray that that little dark baby boy grows up knowing our God. That he grows up to know His love, His grace, and His mercy. That he knows You. And I pray that the blue-eyed woman continues to praise and sing songs of Your love and Your name. That she continues to be an incredible woman of God and an incredible example to others. I pray that we ALL realize how awesome and powerful You are. And that You empower us to be POWERFUL for You. To show your spirit that dwells within us. I am so lucky to have been chosen by You, Father. Make me a servant with a pure heart that pours You out in whatever I do. 

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."

lovelovelove,

Keely

Here are a few things happening in the DR right now. 

I had the privilege of being a host of this group from Nebraska last week. Southwest was a great week and did great work here in the DR.

Our girl interns for the summer are cooler than your girl interns. Guaranteed.

 Had a sleepover with this baby girl this past Tuesday. Few things are better than a Dominican sleepover.

 They took me to the Dominican festival.

From the inside out.

These last couple of months have been hard, really hard. i think living day to day here in the DR allows us to maybe see sins and evils easier and more prevalent than in the States. I'm not saying that there are more sins here, but definitely less hidden, where we as Americans want everything to look perfect when maybe on the inside everything is falling apart or already in pieces. So i kind of view the DR as a place where hardships and great evils are almost thrown in your face on a daily basis and a lot more than you like. over the past month God has allowed me to go to dark dark places that I have been avoiding for a long time. places that I don't know if I've been ready to go to until now. And I'm scared, these places are just so dark, and the more i explore the more i realize how damaged and broken i am. how lost and confused i have been for so long. i guess i have always felt like i have to put on this front or had to portray this girl the way i thought people viewed me. the keely that people see is about a good time and life might seem perfect. even to my very best friends i have hid the darkest places, but i have slowly started to become less ashamed and realize that those people are the people God gave me for a reason, and that they will love me no matter what i share with them. no matter if i am in the happiest of happy places, or if i am struggling to even drag my feet through the darkest places i have ever been. note: there are many many people with way more darker places than i could ever imagine or handle. i think that is why God gives you only what He knows will make you seek Him ferevently. so this is not a feel sorry for keely blog. but back to my best friends, they always seem to pick me up and continue to fight Satan standing right beside me. So to my very best friends (and you know who you are) i cannot and never will be able to thank you enough or thank God enough for you. but i'm writing this to share what i am starting to figure out, not to tell y'all that my best friends are way better than yours (which they are) or to feel sorry for me, but through all of these dark places, where God is taking me. i have started to really learn what it is like to seek my Father, and before this point i am positive i had no idea what that looked like. i think that is why i felt so lost, i didn't really know Him. i just thought, Kee you have this image to uphold, this persona that you have to have it all together, and you are fine. that's why i think i was so trapped, so dark, and in such dark places. i didn't know my Healer. and now as God continues to walk me through those places and continues to shine His light into my darkness, i realize i'm always going to be broken and damaged, but i also realize that every day i am being healed by the ultimate and only Healer. when i feel like i can't continue to explore my dark places, MY HEALER picks me up and wraps His arms of love around me and carries me telling me "daughter, keep going". I pray with all of my broken self that God continues to walk with me through all of the bad but also all of the good. AND THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD, Y'ALL. 

i heard an example this weekend about how we are like jars of clay with cracks running all through it. so damaged and cracked, but if you put a light in the middle of that clay jar, you will see the light shine through those cracked and damaged parts of the clay. so God, i am exactly like a jar of clay- cracked damaged, so imperfect, but i pray you let people see Jesus shining through all of my cracks and know that i am being healed from the inside out and redeemed by the only Healer. 

Heal me from the inside out, Father. Let your love radiate from and through me, and become a daughter that is constantly seeking You.

I don't know why God would want to love or have a relationship with a selfish sinner like me, but I am so in awe and glad he does. Praise The Lord, O my soul!

Psalm 103 

1. Praise The Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2, Praise The Lord, o my soul, and forget not all his benefits--

3. who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

4. who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion

...

8. The Lord is compassionate and gracious slow to anger, abounding in love

9. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever.

10. he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

11. for as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him

12. as far as the east is from the west so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 

13. As a father has compassion on his children, so The Lord has compassion on those who fear him; 

14. for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

...

22. Praise The Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion.

Praise The Lord, O my soul!

I wanted to show off SO MUCH OF THE GOOD IN MY LIFE!

Big Girls Do Cry.

i have been trying to think of things to tell all of you for a couple of weeks now, and although many things are happening here, I couldn't think of anything mind blowing or something deep and profound that is going to make you want to go out and save the world, just real feelings that i've experienced lately...so let me start by saying that it has been a busy, busy month here, with spring break groups coming in, school still going strong, late night sleepovers, and being the proud owner of a new puppy, needless to say... this girl is exhausted. but a happy exhausted. the spring break groups were great again this year. it always ends up being one of my very favorite times of the year here in the DR. Tennessee Tech came in and did amazing work their week, but then came the week that I had been waiting for, for far too long; Freed-Hardeman came and when I say Freed-Hardeman, I mean my people. my Sigma Rho, people. I can't explain how awesome that group was or how much they fed my soul. and even though it fell on our Spring Break here at Manna Christian School, so technically we didn't get a "break", I wouldn't change one single thing about it. you know when you are around people who just get you and bring out the weirdest parts about you, but it's totes normal, that's Sigma Rho and my girls. and they bring out some weird parts, let me say. frankly, i'm not sure how i have friends. anyways, i was emotionally overwhelmed that entire week by having some of my very best friends in this world meet people I have been waiting for them to meet and really get to know. and just finally getting to watch the most beautiful parts of their hearts shine through to these kids, now that's God. you can probably guess how much of a basket case I was that week. there would be times where I could not stop laughing, and then there would be times when I couldn't stop crying, both being because my heart was too full. it was too happy. So thank you, Sigma Rho, you are beautiful. Thank you to some of my very best friends, you are beyond beautiful. you made this girl and my soul so full. 

now. i know that I am always writing about things that are just peachy here. people think life here is so easy and great, and while it is great (most of the time), it is not easy. have i told you we have a high school? with real children? and five teachers at the moment? junk is REAL. life can be the biggest punk here, and Satan can make you want to spank him and tell him he needs a good mama and a lot of Jesus. But instead of spanking, we have breakdowns. And today I had a minor one. minor. some days i am here and all like (cue the hippy with dreads voice)"heck yeah, i live out here in the middle of nowhere, trying to be radical for God, living with weird skin issues i am catching from small dominican and haitian children n.b.d.... and life is totally awesome." and then i have days like today, where i sit in front of my computer (for hours) and cry (and Fergie is a liar, because this big girl crys, a lot.) because i miss home. i miss you. i miss laughing with my favorite people in this world. i miss kissing my mama and daddy. i miss celebrating important birthdays. i miss phone calls that last for hours. i miss sigma rho and seeing them win makin' music (#18 baby!!) so i sit and i sulk and i send too many facebook messages because my feelings are beyond mushy at this point. and i guarantee all my best friends in the states are like "oh crap, keely has taken another turn down to sappyville and gotten too emotional for this monday and me. (and to those of you who receive those messages, i am sorry, but not really that sorry.)  and lots of thoughts run through my head like (cue the 3 year old whiny girl). "what the heck am i doing here?" "i want to get in my car and drive and see the people i love most (except 3 year olds don't drive, so that's confusing)" "I WANT WENDY'S! AND FRENCH FRIES! NOW!" (that's bigggg gurl, keely, you know just biggggggg). and i walk down Bobita road and laugh while in the middle of crying, thinking of things that happened in college or Greenfield, and so desperately wish i could go back, wish i could live it all over again. 

But then I realize. Keely. Stop being a little brat, go to your cloth/zip-up closet, find the biggest big girl panties you have and throw them on... 'cause ain't nobody got time for your whining. So I get home, pick up my new puppy, find my big girl panties, and carry on. And I know God has to think He created one mess of a human being. My emotions are everywhere. And to think someone so big, so big that my mind can't even start to comprehend how big, created me. and He loves me?? Dude is crazy. He loves me when I am on fire for Him and he loves me when I am being dramatic, a little crazy, and emotional all at once. And He even loves me when I call Him, "dude". What an incredible thought. What an incredible God, we serve. What an incredible blessing it is to live here in the DR. What an incredible blessing it was to be born in the United States, where we are free to come and go whenever we please, say whatever we want, and worship an awesome God without being punished. The States are cool, y'all. But God is wayyyyy cooler. so thankful for my life here in the DR and thankful for all the memories and laughter that filled my mind and heart today, even if it was during my sulking.

so days like today, when i almost lose my mind and my manners, make me realize everything is going to be just fine. Kee, just go put on your big girl panties and thank God for all he has blessed you with.  so thankful for my life here in the DR and thankful for all the memories and laughter that filled my mind and heart today and days to come, even if it was and will be during my sulking and my future sulkings.and i can wait to be home, but i'm glad i don't have to wait much longer. i'll be surrounding myself with my favorites and wrapping my arms around y'all in May. 




Brickie (my dominican girls named her) and I had a good photo sesh today.

hi. 

baby girl is all like "heeeeeeeeey." or maybe that's me.

 Brickie, camera is over here baby.

dang lil mama.